GORETZKI ON CORPORATISM

Is there anything more cringeworthy or utterly depressing than overblown team-building corporate ‘philosophies’, and having them rammed down your ear, nose and throat at cultish weekend seminars in which some Big Wig helicopters in to parp utterly flocculent drivel in an attempt to indoctrinate you to the point where you are ready to blow yourself up on the bus of their rival, should it be necessary (no, the analogy is not too strong)? Yes, there is: the utter c**ts that buy into it all. But such naff evangelism works in thousands of more intimate and insidious ways, too, subtly weaving itself into your every thought and action – if you worked for such a company, that is. Thankfully, I do not. As Alan Partridge (impersonating a generic Irishman) once said: Dairs mourr tuh loif dan dis.

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